She sincerely believes that she must give 110% to make the relationship/marriage work.  But it is not up to her alone.  As long as her abuser is treating her abusively and violently, the 'relationship' will require exactly 100% of her, including her freedom, her health, her safety, her heart, her soul, her spirit, and even her very life. Nothing she does or doesn't do can make him stop abusing her or make the relationship what she wants it to be. It's up to the abuser to take responsibility for the abuse, and for stopping it. Only then may the relationship possibly begin to be healthy.